So, my 5 year old is fond of asking "Why?" to just about everything I say. Please clean your room..."Why?" he responds. Please eat your salad..."Why?" he asks. Please don't let Mommy back in the house..."Why?", OK...just kidding there. But it has gotten a bit annoying. Finally I said "Stop saying why and just do it!" to which he responded "Why?"
Then I remembered that "Why?" is probably the best question of all time and that I should encourage that kind of thinking in this man cub. But there is actually an even better question than "why?" and that is the question I pose to you DougO..."Why ask why?"
A: Why ask why? Because it gives you time to think of your next move while Mom and Dad fumble for an answer. Kids are sharp.
Addendum: My readership has expressed shock and dismay at the simplicity and brevity of my answer to this question, so, in a rare case of pandering to/responding positively to the public, I've decided to pad it out a bit more.
To be honest, the question of "why" is so broad a topic that it begs a short answer just to keep those exasperating philosophy grad students (future waiters of America) from having the time to grab hold of it and write theses on the subject. Knowing that this is a possibility, I will risk it and say that "why" is second only to "what" in popularity when people are curious about anything. "What" is absolutely the easiest question - "What is an aardvark?" "What are the current standings in the NCAA tournament?" "What do naked women look like?"- and is what the internet was made for. All it takes is a keyboard and mild interest, and BAM! Question answered.
"Why" is a different animal altogether. Discounting for the moment that "why" is, in fact, usually the very delaying tactic I describe in my first response (learned early and used constantly up through one's teens), asking "why" implies that you want to know more than just what the facts are, you also want to know why they should be that way. Rare indeed is the person who really wants to know why they can't have the car tonight, or why Democrats and Republicans can't get along. "Why" raises the specter of involvement, that the knowledge you receive could lead to action on your part, even if that action is to accept that the circumstance is beyond your control.
In the case of a 5-year-old, I have noticed that my own son takes the answers to his important why questions as a blueprint for immediate action.
Stephen: Why can't we go to the party now? (Thinking of ice cream and cake)
Me: We need to get a birthday present first.
My wife: I bet she would like an Iris. We have some growing in the back yard.
Stephen: ! (Patters off to back door, unremarked by myself or my wife)
My wife: ... where did Stephen go?
Me: (Sprint to back yard and relieve Stephen of large shovel, even now arcing downward towards My Wife's Iris bed)
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Monday, May 19, 2008
Cheese...Green? Yellow? Orange? Blue?
Cheese is a wonderful thing. I love it on everything and by itself. But one thing does bother me...why is it not always white? I know milk is white...or whiteish, and I know that cheese is made with milk, and I know that curd is white. So why, oh why do folks mess with it to make it green, yellow, orange, blue, etc...?
A: This is actually a combination of at least two questions, chiefly, "What makes cheeses funny colors?" and, "Why would anyone do that to cheese?"
The first answer is easy enough. Blue and green cheeses are colored by the mold cultures grown in them. Otherwise, cheeses inhabit a fairly narrow range of color from white to a golden cream. Bright, screaming orange cheeses have orange dye added to them.
As for why people would dicker about with the color of cheeses, there is a good amount of legend and debate. For example: Cheddar cheese (known as "Tasty cheese" in Australia, I love that) has often been colored orange in the UK and almost always in the US. I had heard that the reason for the color was that, during either WWI or WWII, the Germans had attempted to poison Allied food supplies. The US began dyeing their cheeses orange to show that they were safe to eat. Afterwards, people got used to the "good" cheese being orange, and it was perpetuated by the marketers of cheese, like Kraft.
This theory has holes in it. For instance, the Germans wouldn't have to be geniuses to figure this out. If they were serious about killing the Allies with dairy products, the Axis would definitely have started dyeing the poisoned cheeses also. This would have sparked a "rainbow cheese" war, in which the final color for cheddar would be whatever it was when the Germans decided to give up and go back to bombing us instead. I'm betting such an arms race would have left cheddar lavender or screaming pink. Moreover, there doesn't seem to be much evidence that this is true.
A more likely reason for orange cheddar (though possibly not true either) is that cheddar and other more orange-y cheeses occur naturally during spring and summer months, when cows can tuck in to carrots and other veggies with a high beta-carotene content. Beta-carotene colors the cheese, and the happy cows produce more buttery milk, which makes the cheeses more tasty. Marketers realized that people looked for the orange cheeses, expecting that warmer-month cheeses were better, so all cheeses were dosed with carrot juice (later, synthetic dyes) to make them more appealing. The hole in this theory is that the beta-carotene should also make orange milk, which, as far as I know, it doesn't. But maybe the milk is being dyed back to white. Dizzying, isn't it?
A: This is actually a combination of at least two questions, chiefly, "What makes cheeses funny colors?" and, "Why would anyone do that to cheese?"
The first answer is easy enough. Blue and green cheeses are colored by the mold cultures grown in them. Otherwise, cheeses inhabit a fairly narrow range of color from white to a golden cream. Bright, screaming orange cheeses have orange dye added to them.
As for why people would dicker about with the color of cheeses, there is a good amount of legend and debate. For example: Cheddar cheese (known as "Tasty cheese" in Australia, I love that) has often been colored orange in the UK and almost always in the US. I had heard that the reason for the color was that, during either WWI or WWII, the Germans had attempted to poison Allied food supplies. The US began dyeing their cheeses orange to show that they were safe to eat. Afterwards, people got used to the "good" cheese being orange, and it was perpetuated by the marketers of cheese, like Kraft.
This theory has holes in it. For instance, the Germans wouldn't have to be geniuses to figure this out. If they were serious about killing the Allies with dairy products, the Axis would definitely have started dyeing the poisoned cheeses also. This would have sparked a "rainbow cheese" war, in which the final color for cheddar would be whatever it was when the Germans decided to give up and go back to bombing us instead. I'm betting such an arms race would have left cheddar lavender or screaming pink. Moreover, there doesn't seem to be much evidence that this is true.
A more likely reason for orange cheddar (though possibly not true either) is that cheddar and other more orange-y cheeses occur naturally during spring and summer months, when cows can tuck in to carrots and other veggies with a high beta-carotene content. Beta-carotene colors the cheese, and the happy cows produce more buttery milk, which makes the cheeses more tasty. Marketers realized that people looked for the orange cheeses, expecting that warmer-month cheeses were better, so all cheeses were dosed with carrot juice (later, synthetic dyes) to make them more appealing. The hole in this theory is that the beta-carotene should also make orange milk, which, as far as I know, it doesn't. But maybe the milk is being dyed back to white. Dizzying, isn't it?
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Worms
Q: I include 'worms' as a subset of the larger category of 'bugs.' Others disagree. What's the proper classification scheme? Are Worms bugs?
A: Donovan points out that worms are "annelids", but that doesn't cover the question, I think, since the term "bug" is more a value judgment than a true category. "Germ" is another of those imprecise terms that is used frequently when we are young, but doesn't correspond well to true taxonomy. A "bug", as referred to by children (who use it most often), usually means "any creepy thing I can catch and scare little girls with". Worms fit very comfortably in that group, along with beetles, spiders, and roly-polies (aka "pill bugs" and "wood lice").
Therefore, if it:
1. is small
2. is alive
3. is squishy, or chitinous and many-legged (but not four-legged)
4. would make your sister scream if she found it on her arm or in her sandwich
5. is best left out of doors
...then I'd say it's a bug.
A: Donovan points out that worms are "annelids", but that doesn't cover the question, I think, since the term "bug" is more a value judgment than a true category. "Germ" is another of those imprecise terms that is used frequently when we are young, but doesn't correspond well to true taxonomy. A "bug", as referred to by children (who use it most often), usually means "any creepy thing I can catch and scare little girls with". Worms fit very comfortably in that group, along with beetles, spiders, and roly-polies (aka "pill bugs" and "wood lice").
Therefore, if it:
1. is small
2. is alive
3. is squishy, or chitinous and many-legged (but not four-legged)
4. would make your sister scream if she found it on her arm or in her sandwich
5. is best left out of doors
...then I'd say it's a bug.
Irresistible Force vs. Immovable Object
Q: Doug, if a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands buttered-side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?
A: Science has disproved the "buttered-side down" hypothesis. Sad, but true. This still leaves the question of cats landing on their feet in all cases (assuming a live cat, of course), which has probably never been definitively tested because of the influence of animal rights groups. Therefore, a cat equipped with a buttered toast backpack is as likely to land on its feet as any other cat. A more interesting question might be, "What would happen if you strapped buttered toast to a cat's feet and threw the whole oily mess into the air?"
A: Science has disproved the "buttered-side down" hypothesis. Sad, but true. This still leaves the question of cats landing on their feet in all cases (assuming a live cat, of course), which has probably never been definitively tested because of the influence of animal rights groups. Therefore, a cat equipped with a buttered toast backpack is as likely to land on its feet as any other cat. A more interesting question might be, "What would happen if you strapped buttered toast to a cat's feet and threw the whole oily mess into the air?"
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Beefburger?
Q: Why isn't a hamburger called a beefburger? There's clearly no ham in it!!
A: The "hamburger" is named for Hambourg, Germany, not the meat. Technically, it means "citizen of Hambourg", so you might ask, "why aren't there any ground-up Germans in them?"
A: The "hamburger" is named for Hambourg, Germany, not the meat. Technically, it means "citizen of Hambourg", so you might ask, "why aren't there any ground-up Germans in them?"
Devil's Food vs. Angel's Food
Q: Does Devil's Food win just because of the chocolaty goodness?
A: Oh, no. It wins primarily because of the lameness of Angel's food. The chocolatey goodness just puts it over the top.
A: Oh, no. It wins primarily because of the lameness of Angel's food. The chocolatey goodness just puts it over the top.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Angel Food Cake... Food of the Gods, or What?
Q: Just because I need to know...
A: The food of the gods was called Ambrosia for the Greeks and Romans, served with a big, foamy mug of Nectar to wash it down. The Norse gods ate pretty much what we eat, except more of it and with lots of alcohol (as at a company party), but they kept young by eating magic silver apples. Angel food cake, on the other hand, is eaten mostly by old ladies (not gods) and is made with egg whites and sugar, with some other flavorless crap thrown in.
So, no. The gods probably wouldn't eat it unless they were on a diet.
A: The food of the gods was called Ambrosia for the Greeks and Romans, served with a big, foamy mug of Nectar to wash it down. The Norse gods ate pretty much what we eat, except more of it and with lots of alcohol (as at a company party), but they kept young by eating magic silver apples. Angel food cake, on the other hand, is eaten mostly by old ladies (not gods) and is made with egg whites and sugar, with some other flavorless crap thrown in.
So, no. The gods probably wouldn't eat it unless they were on a diet.
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